I am very excited that I just signed up to write a chapter for the 2026 Retirement Coaches Association book. When I saw the call for topics, it felt like the perfect time to take the leap. I have spent the past month reviewing 2025, especially my business, and I developed some resolutions for the next year. Writing and publishing are among my new goals.

I had scheduled time away at the Sacred Pause Retreat with Mid-Life Evolutionaries in late October. This was my third time attending and the ROI was greater this time for me as I was more open to the process. Why? I realized as a government worker I always held everything very close, afraid I would share more than allowed. I had not realized how much that had defined my identity over 30 years. After a few months retired from that world, I have realized that I am not as stiff, for lack of a better word. I was open to the exchange at the retreat and let ideas and thoughts flow both in and out of me whereas I would have been more circumspect in the past. It did not hurt that I did not feel judged in this environment.

I went to the retreat with exercises to do during my free time to help me ensure I was clear on my values and what was important to me. My strengths from CliftonStrengths are connectedness, responsible, input, learning, and development. I am not disputing these but realized that I was exhausted with always being the responsible one – taking on others’ roles and tasks when they did not fulfill them to my expectations. I really did not know how to back away from that, but I have found in the last few months I do not have the sense of urgency abouts tasks that I have had in the past. I do feel a sense of guilt if I do not complete something in a time limit I established, but I still was letting things slide, which made me feel overwhelmed. Rather than push me to complete the task, I then procrastinated further. This was not like the old me and I wanted to reconcile this problem. I realized that I was volunteering for too much and setting unrealistic deadlines so now I am working to pause and consider before I sign up.

When I did an exercise to identify my values, integrity was still very important to me. However, I find that making a difference in others’ lives and feeling fulfilled are prioritized over getting tasks done. Being and becoming have more value to me now than producing.

Ironically, I watched Daniel Pink’s “Life Advice That Sounds Good But Will Destroy You” and I wondered if I was giving bad advice here. I don’t think so. Frankly, it is too easy to keep our heads down and keep plugging away without thinking about where we are and where we want to be. He doesn’t advocate having a grand plan but instead encourages users to make decisions based on fundamental reasons – doing things that feel right even if we do not know where they will lead – rather than instrumental reasons – thinking that your next step will lead to the next opportunity and ultimately to your final goal. He recommends young folks try things on for size and that is what I recommend to those in retirement years. There is no one right answer for everyone – it could be just what is right right now. Given that we will all face some level of decline in the future, I would rather try something now rather than commit to another task for the next 20 years. I am learning to be more flexible and honest with myself on what fits and what doesn’t. I am striving to be less afraid, bolder and more curious.

Funny how this blog did not go where I thought it would. Maybe that is a sign that I am adapting well here. I am not stressing about it and hope that you are also able to not stress about your world right now. The Christmas season is meant to be one of joy in anticipating our Savior so I pray that you don’t let the task lists overcome the sense of wonder we can participate in if we are open to it.

“Fear is when we’re thinking about the past or thinking about the future, two things that do not exist. If we stay in the moment, do our best in the moment, enjoy the moment, there is no fear.” – Garrett McNamara